Sunday, December 05, 2004

Season's Tax Greetings

Now that Christmas is upon us I’m sure you’re thinking what I’m thinking: How are things at the Internal Revenue Service?

Yes, every year about this time, while we deck the halls and run around in a one horse open sleigh, using ye ole Visa Card to have a white Christmas, we remember that Uncle Sam is coming to town. So you had better not pout, you had better not shout, you had better not cry, I’m a telling you why, Uncle Sam is coming for your money.

Of course, he has to; according to the War Resisters League, about 50% of US tax dollar revenue (aka your taxes) is required to pay for United States military expenses. Ho, Ho, Ho! Mind you, this has grown significantly during the reign of his imperial majesty, George Bush and his Neocons. For readers who may have forgotten, George Bush is supposedly a fiscal conservative who campaigned on promises to reduce government spending.

Before I continue, I am compelled to invite my readers to join me in a holiday song, sent to me by an anonymous reader* who did not impress me as a big fan of George Bush. Sing it aloud to spread season’s greetings throughout your neighborhood:

Georgie, the Neocon President
*Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer

Georgie, the Neocon president,
Has a very lying tongue,
And if you ever heard him,
You would say he’s full of dung.

All of the other world leaders,
Use to ignore this Yank,
They always thought poor Georgie,
Was just a Republican prank.

Then elected for another term,
Some US voters said,
Georgie with your smile so cute,
Let’s shoot some more Iraqi’s dead

Then how the leaders feared him,
As they shouted out in dread,
The US majority,
Elected silly airhead!

Now of course, Mr. Bush and company would prefer that you focus on a silent night and not worry about these tax issues. Makes you wonder what would have happened in November, had he admitted the truth, that the Iraqi and Afghan wars costs the American taxpayer over four billion dollars each month? In Iraq alone our government has already “invested” over 148 billion dollars to teach Iraqi’s that they better accept the peace and freedom of Western Culture or we will kill them.

As it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, please remember that this year in the name of free enterprise and capitalism, the Internal Revenue Service (motto: Let us confiscate your house!) has approved a plan to hire private firms to confiscate, oops, I mean collect, yes, cheerfully collect your delinquent taxes to properly fund this war. In keeping with the American spirit, these firms will do it for a commission!

Face it, Bush needs all the money he can get his wealthy hands on, to insure we give the Iraqi’s a holly jolly Christmas. American tax dollars, disguised in so many forms, from income tax to telephone excise taxes, pays for the bombs and bullets to convince these Muslims that this “Christian Country” will spread the true meaning of Christmas throughout the coming year.

Of course, imagine for a moment if you will, what would happen if American citizens refused to pay the portion of their taxes used to fund this war? Imagine if you will, what would happen if we used that money to fund programs that assures security for our nation, such as equal access to health care and educational opportunities for all Americans. Perhaps, our 50 cents of every tax dollar could help win the war against corporations that wage economic terrorism against the poor. Or, these billions could be used to finance realistic peacemaking efforts around the globe. Goodness, what a Christmas gift to the world, if the United States actually practiced economic democracy.

So this Christmas while you gather round’ the tree and don yon eggnog, please remember, in a few days you will once again face the U.S. Grinch, who will collect your tax dollars, and, in the spirit of love and peace finance the U.S. military efforts to kill people. Ho, Ho, Ho!

*I promised my good friend, Idua Siddag, that he could count on me to protect his anonymity not even mentioning the fact he has rewritten dozens of Yuletide carols that readers could obtain copies of simply by emailing me. That’s the kind of friend I am, trustworthy.